“Big Splash” – aired on July 21, 2019
Written by: Marc Dube
Directed by: John Behring
Grade: 2,5 out of 5
Notice: All episode reviews contain spoilers
Will this be the new pattern of Season 2? The odd-numbered episodes showcasing the best that Instinct has to offer while taking detours to the land of mediocre-to-average in the even-numbered ones? Probably not, but that is the menu served so far this season.
To be clear, “Big Splash” is on the low end of the mediocre-to-average spectrum. If the last five minutes of an episode is the only segment worth caring about in a procedural drama, the writing room has failed to put forth a compelling A story.
It revolves around the murder of a stepmother named Ella (Betsy Wolfe) who married a rich, older dude who left his wife for her, the consequences of which produced a potentially vindictive ex-wife, a sour-yet-spoiled teenage daughter, a disappointed ex-schoolmate who had big plans with Ella, and a whole lot of other teenager friends of the daughter (including an ex-boyfriend turned cater-waiter with a prior criminal record) who fulfill the quota for the roles of the social-media-addicted youngsters who may or may not have had something to do with her death.
Apart from Kathryn Erbe who plays Caitlyn, the older ex-wife, and Zoë Winters who plays Molly, the disappointed friend from school, the acting is so over-the-top that some of it comes across as phony, especially in the case of the teenagers. It even rubs off on Cumming who is overly dramatic at times when stating the obvious like, “The question is, did Molly choose to sting back?” Furthermore, the concept of the older person, Dylan in this case, with an aversion to social media, and therefore mocked by friends and youngsters, has been done ad nauseam.
Lastly, it’s disappointing to see that Instinct, in this episode at least, jumps on the bandwagon with zillion other TV shows that base their stories around the presumably harmful effects of social media. How about the benefits of social media, people? In fact, unless I am mistaken, social media is a key element in solving the case here. Can we also once in a while – pretty please – acknowledge that social media contributes in positive ways to society, such as making communication easier between separated loved ones or increasing awareness for a topic that needs it, just to name a couple?
You could overlook the excess of all of the above in “Big Splash” if only the plot were intriguing, but unfortunately, it is filled with so many contrivances and so predictable that by the time the denouement comes around, you may find yourself, like I did, looking at the time left in the episode and feeling some relief that there are still five minutes to come, and that you may after all get something out of this episode.
The murder takes place at a night club rented, I presume, by the family to celebrate the 16th birthday of their daughter Alex (Haley Murphy). The rich socialite says to her friends that all she wants “is to make a big splash” when her introduction on stage as the birthday girl takes place a bit later. Lo and behold, Ella happens to fall from the first floor down into the decorative pool on the ground floor, thus making a big splash, exactly as Alex gets introduced by the DJ. Spoiler: it turns out that Ella did, for real, fall by accident into the pool precisely at that moment! She was poisoned, as we learn later, and having trouble walking, but her fall and the announcement of Alex’s introduction being at the same time was indeed a coincidence. No… seriously!
At first, the cater-waiter ex-boyfriend Boyd (Ben Ahlers) is considered a suspect because Ella fired him moments before her death – yes, the ex-boyfriend with a prior criminal record, mind you, of the daughter is actually hired by the family to work at their daughter’s birthday party, please ask no more. Once discovered that Ella may have been poisoned through the skin via make-up laced with poison, Dylan and Lizzie’s attention turns Caitlyn the ex-wife who happens to work in cosmetics and gave some to Alex as a gift during the party. How convenient, right? Later, Alex’s childhood friend Kim (Nadia Alexander) is targeted because she used a morbid GIF of Ella on social media.
In any case, the usual run-down of various suspects found in every other episodic crime show is also present in “Big Splash,” except that in “Big Splash,” it is filled with tropes and pedestrian sequences. Caitlyn the ex-wife saying, “I don’t like the idea of being replaced by a younger version of myself,” or Kim the smart-ass teenager who is well-versed in civil rights asking for a lawyer when Dylan and Lizzie insinuate that she is a suspect, are two among several examples.
Eventually, we get to the expected moment of epiphany in which Dylan and Lizzie figure out the identity of the killer, and it is done in the most hokey way possible. Molly, Ella’s Culinary Arts School ex-classmate and friend, is the next (and last) suspect. The two women had plans to start a business together, but they came to a screeching halt when, as Caitlyn said earlier, Ella “struck gold” by marrying her ex-husband. To add salt to the wound (and to help the script), Molly was hired by Ella as a helper at the party. Molly could not stomach the betrayal and killed her.
Dylan and Lizzie figure it out by looking at a random bowl of apples in the precinct, Lizzie forming a link between fruits having high alkaline content and Ella’s make-up having high alkaline trace, and uttering the question, “Poisoned fruit?” That is all Dylan needs as he grabs an apple from the bowl, holds it up as he passionately comments on a fairy tale relating to a poisoned apple, dramatically announces: “Ella wasn’t the stepmother. She was Cinderella!” as he stares into distance, makes a 180-degree turn toward Lizzie, and punctuates it all with the final declaration, “It was her friend who was evil.”
Can I get a wut?
There is apparently an apple named manchineel, and of course, Dylan would be the one to have knowledge of not only its existence but also of its reputation as being poisonous. He even knows its nickname, “The little apple of death.” By the grace of procedural dramas, Molly had knowledge of the rare fruit because she is a culinary expert, extracted the poison, and added some into Ella’s makeup. And… she made sure that she was clumsy enough to spill some of the poison on her hand, so that when Lizzie and Dylan find her as she happens to be checking out some apples in a basket – I kid you not! – Lizzie can conveniently see the blatantly visible poison marks consistent with those found on Ella’s face. To put the final touches, Molly confesses everything, naturally, and Lizzie handcuffs her. Case over, by the grace of God!
In other and more relevant news, Lizzie gets promoted to Detective Second Grade and gets a personal office to which she cannot get accustomed because she misses being around her colleagues at her old desk. She does get to have one important conversation in her new office before turning it over to Ryan at the end of the episode. Julian informs her that he is going on an assignment in “a region outside New York city,” with a degree of “difficulty assessment” that he cannot reveal, which makes Lizzie concerned for his safety. It’s the only genuine and consequential scene in the episode apart from the last five minutes and it ties to another scene at the end when everyone from the precinct meets at a bar to celebrate Lizzie’s promotion. Julian promised he would do his best to make it there, but he does not show up.
Continuing his investigation of the “Sleeping Beauty” case, Ryan gets in touch with a bartender named Jay (Nat Cassidy) who served the victim the night she was killed. Ryan and Dylan go to a rooftop somewhere in the city to meet with him but when they arrive, they only find his phone and a photo of him dead (is anyone surprised?) and wrapped in a blanket with the caption “It’s ON” underneath. The episode’s closing shot shows someone observing them from a distance.
As for the adoption adventures of Andy and Dylan, they are ecstatic because Sam has called back and agreed to discuss the possibilities of them adopting her baby.
Last-minute thoughts:
– There is a minor (and pointless, in my opinion) storyline about Jasmine noticing the “sparks” between ‘Jules’ and Lizzie at the precinct. I am not even sure if it’s worth mentioning, but I just did.
– The sole purpose of the recurring character of Det. Jimmy Marino (John Mainieri) has been to provide comic-relief in one-second-long appearances in several episodes. He has two such moments in this one. I like the guy, so I thought he deserved a mention, that’s all (that is really “all” that his screen time so far allows me to say).
– Lizzie types messages on her phone faster than anybody I have ever seen.
– How many scenes of Dylan’s entourage making fun of his social-media clip can one take in 40 minutes (not counting the commercials)? Speaking for myself, not as many as this episode spits out.
– It was hinted at in “Stay Gold” that Andy was considering the idea of practicing law. Has that idea been dropped? I hope not.
– The outfit that Dylan is wearing when they are getting coffee, isn’t it a little on the thick side? I presume the air condition was turned to the max in that coffee shop.
Until the next episode…
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