“Meetings Have Biscuits” – Aired on April 26, 2020
Writer: Laura Neal
Director: Miranda Bowen
Grade: 4.5 out of 5
Notice: All episode reviews contain spoilers
One could almost argue that Villanelle is the only assassin in the Killing Eve universe operating at private châteaux or lavish mansions, because the episode begins at one located in Andalusia where she poses as a piano tuner, and is about to fulfill her obligatory quota of at least one murder per episode, first of three in this particular one.
Her initial target is the woman of the house, but the nanny/maid also catches the unfortunate ride when Villanelle notices her holding a baby in the back room. Once both women are eliminated via the use of her tuning forks used as darts aimed at their cranial units, Villanelle kidnaps the baby as a bonus prize, just out of curiosity, just for fun.
Dasha ditches that same baby later in a trash bin in a public square when she finds the baby irritating while having lunch with Villanelle who, in turn, finds the baby getting dumped in the trash bin so hilarious that she is absolutely in stitches, as I begin to question, is this supposed to be funny? Or pat levity for the sake of singularity? Or downright bad taste? The most (only) noteworthy part of the scene comes at the very end, when Dasha gives Villanelle a postcard indicating her next target’s location: London!
The oddness of the above scene put aside, “Meetings Have Biscuits” is a wonderful outing that continues the praiseworthy calibration observed in the directional tone of the show in episodes one and two, with increasingly compelling plot developments injected into the mix this time. Writer Laura Neal packs a boatload in 42 minutes, yet nothing comes across rushed or stilted. Every major character takes a considerable step forward in terms of both depth and plot contribution, and the episode features what may soon be referred to as an iconic moment in the Killing Eve lore; the lead duo’s first kiss. Add to the mix several zany-funny dialogues serving as the icing on the cake, and the result is the most riveting hour of season 3 so far.
Next on the agenda, after the opening in Spain, is Agent Mo and Carolyn going over the coroner’s report on Kenny’s death with Eve walking in to join them. It is recorded as a suicide, much to Carolyn’s dismay, but she has managed to get hold of Kenny’s thumb drives, much to Eve’s delight. Jamie also happens to walk in at one point before being rapidly shoved back out by Eve. Did I mention that the setting is the bathroom at Carolyn’s house with her taking a bubble bath while stark naked?
Zany-funny dialogue:
Eve [walks in, bewildered]: “Wow.”
Carolyn: “Oh, get over it, Eve. I have all my best thoughts in the bath. If Mo can manage, you can.”
Mo [sitting on the toilet, dressed in an impeccable suit]: “I haven’t looked up in ten minutes.”
Jamie joins them at the table downstairs, a much more suitable setting, with Carolyn dressed more appropriately. Animosity erupts between those two (feel free to take the “investigative journalism vs government agency” angle), forcing Eve to step in and assume the role of the adult in the room, to which an observing Geraldine reacts in a tone replete with sarcasm, “Wow. That is literally the most parenting this household has ever seen.” Her target audience of one, Carolyn, rolls her eyes.
As Bear and Eve go through the financial statements found in Kenny’s thumb drives at Bitter Pill, Eve notices a payment that has a strange name: “R-U-R’ U2 F’.” Bear, the ultimate nerd, recognizes it as a notation for Rubik’s Cube and when they apply it to the one next to the desk, the letters on one side of the cube align to read, “Panda.”
This leads to a meeting in Jamie’s office with Eve giving Jamie and Bear the full scoop on the Twelve and its connection to the word “Panda.” I have always believed that one of the signs of great writing is the attention paid to minute details in ensuring that they remain coherent at the granular level. In short, the answer to the question of “how we got here” should at least have a passable answer. “Meetings Have Biscuits” succeeds with flying colors here, thanks to nods to previous seasons and episodes, and an intricate trail concocted by the writing room.
For those who may not remember, Fat Panda was a Chinese intelligence officer killed by Villanelle (thus the Twelve) in first season’s “Don’t I know You?” because he was tracking down a double agent for the Twelve who happened to be Frank, Eve’s ex-boss. An account located in the Cayman Islands was used by the Twelve to pay Frank at the time. After Frank was also killed by Villanelle in “I Have a Thing about Bathrooms” two episodes later, the account’s balance had been moved to Geneva and gone dormant until recently, when three payments totaling 6 million euros took place. Kenny was tracking this account and named it “Panda.” You may also remember noticing briefly some photos of Frank and Fat Panda on Kenny’s computer screen in this season’s opener “Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey.” Kenny had indeed been a busy boy digging into the Twelve.
Zany-funny dialogue:
Eve [emphatically warning Jamie and Bear as she is about to discuss the Twelve]: “But before I go on, you have to understand that once I tell you about them, your lives are in danger.”
Jamie [rolling his eyes and saying firmly]: “Then don’t tell us…”
Eve [interrupting]: “They’re called the Twelve and they’ve infiltrated governments and organizations all over the world.”
A man named Charles Kruger (Dominic Mafham), an old friend of Konstantin (calls him Kostya) whose real name is Sergei, needs Konstantin’s help because someone has been “siphoning money” from the Geneva account, 6 million euros to be exact. He needs Konstantin to “tide him over” until he catches the “scoundrel.”
Zany-funny dialogue:
Charles [affectionately, while hugging Konstantin]: “How’s Irina these days? Still a little shit”
Konstantin [smiling]: “She is like a little shit, taking a shit on a big shit, the three shits combined into one enormous shit.”
Charles [nervously laughing, patting Konstantin on the shoulders, and yelling]: “That’s wonderful! Kids!”
Is someone operating outside the confines of the Twelve and daring to steal their money to do so? That would explain the anxiety of Charles who probably has prolonged nightmares about what the Twelve might do to him with regard to the missing money!
Meanwhile, Villanelle is in London for her next job, which can only spell chaos. She first stops by a perfumer and describes to him the eccentricity of the perfume she seeks with such intensity that the old man, stunned and slightly frightened, can barely get the words out of his mouth when he suggests, “Maybe something more woody.” Next, she visits a toy store and behaves as if she discovered the joys of stuffed animals for the first time ever, until she becomes fascinated by a booth where she can record voice messages that can be played in a stuffed animal.
Carolyn, for her part, is having a busy time, or a busy night, more specifically. Although her daughter Geraldine at home, and the bartender where Carolyn is sitting by herself, may naively believe that she is out for a date, we know that Carolyn Mertens is not one to make evening plans unless she has a meticulously calculated agenda lurking beneath the surface.
Zany-funny quote: Geraldine [yelling date-advice to her mom as she walks out the door]: “And don’t talk about Stalin. He’s strictly third date.”
It becomes quickly obvious that Carolyn’s target is in fact a man named Henrik (Alexander Hanson) sitting with his friends at a table in the same establishment. She ‘happens’ to walk by his table and acts oh-so surprised to see him. She launches the warmest fake hello donned with her widest smile (because, let’s be honest, ‘our’ Carolyn is not the huggy-lovey kind of woman), and manifests self-pity for having been stood up on her date. Mission accomplished. Henrik’s mind has turned into mush and he has all but forgotten about his friends, already asking Carolyn to accompany him to another restaurant. Once there, Carolyn’s busy picking his brain, fishing for “salacious financial gossip” because, lo and behold, Henrik works for a bank… in Geneva. Ah! Got it Carolyn. Wink wink.
Despite needing a glass of ice held against her temple while laying down on the couch the next morning, in the name of alleviating the pain of the splitting headache resulting from a night of ‘hard work,’ we learn that Carolyn successfully, and unsurprisingly, squeezed the information out of Henrik. The “Panda” account is under the name of none other than Charles Kruger, original name Sergei Korchmarev, whom Carolyn also happens to know from her days in Russia!
Zany-funny dialogue:
Carolyn [getting up, handing the glass to Mo, sighing, and heading for the shower]: “Oh, God. First Henrik, then Sergei. It’s not fun, Eve, using the people you once loved. It’s all rather painful, really.”
Mo [to Eve]: “Do you believe a word of that?”
Eve: “No, I think she loves it.”
Eve visits the rehabilitation center to see Niko, except that he apparently checked himself out the previous week without leaving a note and the only information Valerie (Esther Hall) working at the center is willing to give Eve is that he said “something about Poland.” Eve is stupefied and one could almost – almost – believe that she genuinely cares about him, but reality strikes immediately when we see how quickly thoughts of Niko totally evaporate once Villanelle, out of nowhere, appears in front of Eve in the bus!
This is when the aforementioned first-kiss scene takes place, but not before Eve first charges Villanelle like a raging maniac and nails her on the nose, and not before Villanelle neutralizes her afterward by pinning her down on a seat and saying, “Smell me, Eve. What do I smell of to you?” Eve’s lips then lock onto Villanelle’s, followed by a head butt that leaves both of their foreheads purple, leading to Villanelle exiting the bus. Director Miranda Bowen, as had previous directors done, takes full advantage of the two most valuable assets of the show, the recognizable and expressive faces of the lead duo, by finishing this potent encounter with splendid close-up shots of each.
My thoughts on the significance of the first-kiss: The fact that they lock lips at the heels of a physical tussle in front of shocked London bus riders, while Eve’s eyes are bulging out of their sockets, makes the scene outlandishly unique. Personally, in terms of sensual intensity or erotic steam, and of iconic stature in the show’s lore, I would nonetheless rank higher the kitchen encounter in first season’s “I Have a Thing about Bathrooms,” or the phone-sex between the two with Hugo filling the figurant role in second season’s “Wide Awake,” or even the peephole-breathing sequence in “The Hungry Caterpillar,” despite none of them featuring an actual kiss.
Later in Jamie’s office at Bitter Pill, Eve informs him of Villanelle and while doing so, begins to realize that Villanelle must be in London to kill someone on behalf of the Twelve. She told Eve during their scuffle that she was not here to kill her, so Eve deduces that Carolyn must be the target because she located the Twelve’s accountant! She frantically tries to contact Carolyn and Mo to alert them, but they are not picking up their phones.
Interwoven with the progress of the sequence above, with the utmost efficiency and a fine score to create a resounding crescendo effect, are intermittent scenes of Carolyn and Agent Mo staking out Kruger’s apartment, apprehending him once he comes out, and driving away with him in the back of the car, with Villanelle tailing them, posing as a police officer on a motorcycle, and ordering them to pull over a bit later.
Both scenes culminate in an explosive unraveling when Eve finally gets a text through to Carolyn’s phone who reads that Villanelle is after her, except that it’s too late because when she looks up to the officer standing outside her window, Villanelle is staring at her with a silencer gun pointed at her face. She fires and the screen goes dark bringing about probably one of the longest waits (if not, the longest) through commercials that any Killing Eve fan had to endure until then.
We first see Carolyn from Mo’s point of view, with blood on her forehead, her eyes closed, and her head tilted to the side, except that she is not dead. The bullet (must have) scraped her forehead and nailed Sergei/Charles sitting in the back, smack in the skull. Yeah, Villanelle is that kind of punctilious assassin!
Carolyn arrives home from the encounter with blood on her face and visibly shook, yet still shows no affection toward Geraldine (treats her almost as a nuisance, I’d say) who is obviously scared for her mother and simply wants to hug her. Come on Carolyn… Really? Can’t you even fake it like you did with Henrik? Ah yes, that was for work and this is your daughter, and it’s obvious which one is more worthy of the effort. Do I sound bitter?
Konstantin is at home getting ready for a serene night of sleep, or so he thinks. Hiding under the covers is Villanelle who spooks him at such a visceral level that he jumps out of bed at warp-speed nine, screaming his guts out, in the most uproarious moment of the hour. Following some small talk about what Konstantin thought of her looks as a baby – “You had a strange head. Bulbous, Unnatural,” says an annoyed Konstantin –, Villanelle asks for his help in locating her family. He shows no signs of agreeing to help, but it is safe to bet that he will, not to mention that Villanelle informing him of her murder of “some accountant” may have spooked him just as much as her under-the-covers ruse.
Eve is not as lucky as Konstantin in that she has to settle for a stuffed bear hiding in her bed. It does contain a red-heart shaped recorder though, with Villanelle’s soft voice playing in a loop: “Admit it, Eve. You wish I was here.” Eve is startled at first and turns it off. Then, she starts rubbing the heart, turns it back on, puts it close to her ear, and closes her eyes, as the screen goes dark and the curtain comes down on the episode.
Brilliant!
Last-minute thoughts:
— What is the deal with Sergei/Charles? Can the guy seriously not even run more than 30 meters before he needs emergency oxygen? Not that it matters anymore!
— Carolyn speaks Russian. Is anyone surprised?
— Little hints at the possibility of Villanelle’s increasing desire to find her family were dropped during the episode, such as her reaction to seeing how much the nanny cared about the baby, or how happy the baby’s father was on the news on TV after being reunited with his kidnapped child, found at a trash bin in a public square!
— Does Villanelle know that the 6 million euros Konstantin referred to at the end is connected to the accountant she just assassinated? I cannot be sure!
Until the next episode…
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